In Chinese tradition, a Chinese marriage involves six rituals also known as the three letters and six etiquettes. The three letters are: the request letter which, sent from the groom’s family to the bride’s family to ask for a marriage; the gift letter, that comes with gifts to the bride’s family from the groom’s family shortly before the wedding; and the wedding letter, given to the bride’s family on the day of the wedding to acknowledge the bride into the groom’s family.  The six etiquettes include proposal, comparing the couple’s birthdates to make sure they are a good match, bride price (Betrothal gifts), wedding gifts, arranging the wedding and the wedding ceremony.

Chinese Pre-Ceremony Traditions

Obtaining the Bride
Hair dressing ritual and capping (symbolize the couple is ready to move forward to the next chapter of their lives) is performed in the morning of the wedding day for both families. The procession begins where the groom, accompanied by a child which symbolizes their future son, attendants with lanterns, the bridal sedan chair, bride’s dowry, banners, musicians and a dancing lions.  Throughout the whole parade to the bride’s house, firecrackers, gongs and drums would be played in order to scare off evil spirits.

Bridesmaid Games
Once the groom arrives at the bride’s house, the bridesmaids would ask the groom to answer several tricky questions or perform some tasks to test how much he loves the bride. The groomsmen are allowed to help the groom to get passed all the bridesmaid games. Usually, the groom will try to win the bridesmaids over by giving them a “red envelope” that is filled with money and symbolizes good fortune.

Arriving at the Groom’s House
Upon arriving, a red mat would be placed before the sedan chair for the bride because the bride is not allowed to step on the ground. Then, the bride has to step over a saddle or a lit stove the threshold to drive away all the bad luck.

Ceremonial Rites

The Chinese Wedding Ceremony
The groom and the bride would visit both families’ altars and pay their respects to Heaven and Earth, the family ancestors and the Kitchen God, Tsao-Chun. Then, the groom and the bride serve tea to both parents and complete by a bow from the groom and the bride to each other.

The Nuptial Chamber
After the ceremony, the couple returns to the bridal room and friends are invited along to tease or to wish the couple. In certain parts of China, the couple is served with wine as their formal vow. Both would take a few sips, then exchange cups and drink again. Doing so, they believe it brings harmony to their marriage.

Chinese Tea Ceremony

How it Works
The newlyweds will serve tea to the groom’s family accordingly, starting from the groom’s parents followed by the oldest relatives to the youngest. In return, the couple would receive a lai see (a lucky red envelope) or jewelry. The same ritual and order will be performed for the bride’s family. For an all-inclusive tea ceremony, the groom’s family would be served first then the bride’s family.

When to Have it
In Chinese culture, the tea ceremony is usually held right after the wedding ceremony. However, modernization has allowed flexibility with some people preferring it before the wedding ceremony, during the cocktail hour or after the ceremony depending on how much privacy the couple wants.

Where to Host it
Basically, the tea ceremony can be held anywhere. You can either do it at home with family or you can go for a bigger location where you can have all your friends to come over.

What you Need
You have to prepare an altar, a tea set, wedding candles, white flowers, fruit, offertory wine and burning incense. The couple can either light two candles where the dragon candle represents the groom’s family and phoenix candle represents the bride’s family; or the couple can do only one candle to represent the joining of two families.

The Setup
The bride would stand on the left and the groom on the right where the bride would kneel in front of the groom’s father and the groom would kneel in front of his mother. Have your guest sit either facing your elders or each other so that they are able to view the tea ceremony.

The Décor
You can do it yourself by decorating with the Double Happiness symbol, phoenix and dragon motifs, Chinese marriage gods or gold and red colors decoration.

The Finishing Touches
The Chinese tea ceremony is seen as one of the fascinating event, yet complicated. It would be a great idea to include some information of the tea ceremony in your wedding program or have someone to explain it.

The Chinese Wedding Celebration

Wedding Banquet
The most important wedding feast is held on the day of the wedding and it’s considered as a public recognition of the union. Bird’s nest soup, shark’s fin soup and abalone are usually served. Each dish has different meanings, for example yu is fish, which symbolizes abundance and noodles symbolizes long life.

Wedding Night Ritual
The newlyweds have to give a toast to each other and eat half-raw dumplings as the “raw” means give birth. In the bridal room, dragon and phoenix candles will be lit to scare away the evil spirits.

The Day After the Wedding
The bride has to wake up early in the morning to pay homage to her ancestors and to prepare a meal for the groom’s family; the groom has to introduce the bride to his family, relatives and friends.

Three Days After the Wedding
The newlyweds would go back to visit the bride’s family and the bride would be treated as a guest rather than a family member.

Learn about other religious and cultural wedding ceremonies