The Japanese have one of the most colorful cultures and traditions. When it comes to Japanese weddings, they could get to be very expensive and intricate, but the result always a mesh of beauty, culture, and family. Japanese Americans now-a-days have a blend of the traditional Japanese wedding with a mixture of modern American traditions.

Arranged Marriages

In olden times, parents arranged marriages for their children. Once both families agreed to wed their chrilden, they would have the ceremony of exchanging gifts (Yuino) and come out with a list called “Mokuroku”. The list consists of 9 objects that symbolize happiness and fortune consisting of Suehiro (array), Tomoshiraga (flax yarn), Konbu (Kelp), Suruma (dried cuttlefish), Katsuobushi (bonito fish dry), Awabi (abalone), Kimpo (money), Yanagidaru (money for the sake) and Shiraga (hemp).

Japanese Tea Ceremony

In the past, the Japanese tea ceremony was only performed by the rich but today, it is something everyone can take part in. This is a common ritual that can be performed for many reasons in the Japanese culture, but one major occasion for a Japanese tea ceremony is for a pre-wedding ceremony ritual. In this situation, the bride, groom, and oth their parents are usually present to enjoy and celebrate this custom together. The Japanese Tea Ceremony is usually held in a traditional Japanese tatami room. The host will bring in the tea and tea utensils. Then, sweet will be served to guests before the tea so that the sweetness and the bitterness could blend in with each other and to compliment each other. This is to create a sign of harmony.

While you are doing the tea ceremony, make sure you bow when you receive the cup of tea which is called a chawan. Take the chawan with your right hand and place it in the palm of your left hand. Then, turn the chawan clockwise three times before you take the drink. Make sure you make a loud slurp while drinking the tea to express your enjoyment. Wipe off the part of the chawan your lips touched with your right hand.

Shinto Customs

The wedding ceremony can be either Buddhist or Shinto. Japanese Shinto Weddings include purification, oaths and trade alliances. Before getting married, a man should ask the hand of the bride from bride’s family (get permission from her parents), this is called Pamanhokan. The groom’s family has to prepare gifts to bride’s family, which is called Yuino in Japanese.

Traditional Shinto weddings are held in a shrine, but the modern Shinto wedding has the shrine inside the venue where the wedding take place. A Shinto priest will conduct the Japanese wedding ceremony and he first will purify the couple at the beginning. Usually the Shinto wedding is only attended by family members and close friends. In the wedding, the couple will dress in kimonos (Japanese traditional costume), drink sake (Japanese wine) and the groom will read a letter of commitment to the bride and give symbolic offerings to the Shinto Gods. After the ceremony, a reception party will be held for all the families guests.

Wedding Attire / Japanese Kimono

At the wedding ceremony, both the bride and the groom are usually wearing traditional Japanese kimonos and they would change their wedding attire three or more times throughout the entire wedding celebrations.

Shiro-muku is the bride’s traditional wedding costume which means “pure white”. The Japanese bride always wears the shiro-muku at the beginning of the ceremony and will later change into a more elaborate kimono that is covered by rich embroidery. During the wedding ceremony, the bride wears uchikake over her white kimono at the wedding reception with a white wedding hood called a tsunokakushi. The uchikake kimono is made of silk and silk brocade, finished by fine embroidered patterns of scenery and flowers. The Japanese bride is allowed to wear a rich highly patterned kimono for the one last time in her life in her wedding day because those eye-catching kimonos are reserved for young unmarried women. Tsunokakushi (literally meaning to hide the bride horns, such as her jealousy) is worn by the bride to surrender herself to her mother-in-law by agreeing that she will carry out her role as a wife with serenity and good behavior.

As for the groom, he wears haori on the top and a hakama on the bottom. The traditional color of the hakama is black, gray or brown with a white pinstripe. Today, many modern Japanese American grooms prefer suits over the hakama for both their wedding ceremony and reception, however it is a personal choice.

Japanese Wedding Reception

After the ceremony, guests are welcomed to “Kekkon Hiroen” where both the groom and the bride’s families are introduced to theit guests. Guests will present a special envelope called the Shuga-Bukuro (which consists of money, traditionally cash) and it is wrapped by gold strings that make it harder to untangle symbolizing eternal union. Then, a traditional Japanese meal will be served and various performances will be presented on a stage to entertain the guests. At the end of the reception, a thank you note will be given by groom and bridge to each of their guests. The order of seating at a Japanese reception is organized by the guest’s age, social position, and his/her relationship with the couple. The person who sits closest to the couple is a “more important” guest.

Learn about other religious and cultural wedding ceremonies