Planning Elegance has compiled this special feature article about being a South Asian bride.  Being a South Asian bride isn’t always easy and we have put together several experiences from our past brides and consolidated their ideas so that you can learn from their experiences!

The Gujarati Bride

I am a Gujarati Bride.  I know that I will have hundreds of people staring at me while I’m walking down the aisle when all I want to do is rip down the anthrapath held in front of my hubby-to-be’s face and give him the biggest hug that our special day is finally here.  To top this nervousness all off, my mama that’s walking me down the aisle is even more nervous because he’s never done this before and has no children of his own.  he had just come from India 2 days before and is still a little jet-lagged.  I can feel his hands shaking as his arm is intertwined in mine.  This is it, it’s time, my coordinator signals us to begin walking to the main area and down that aisle, we took those first steps and I stopped.  “Mama, thank you for walking me down the aisle – but don’t be nervous, just walk slowly, smile, and be happy that we are doing this together.”  We both hugged, took a couple deep breathes together and then continued.  That walk down the aisle was beautiful!

My advice – have a rehearsal or some other way to keep the other people involved in your ceremony aware of what and how they’re supposed to do.  Don’t forget to walk slowly and smile, I loved my walk down the aisle!

The Pakistani Bride

I am a Pakistani Bride.  I am to be modest and collected, but I have butterflies in my stomach.  I have all these women including my mom and some aunties surrounding me and chit-chatting about rituals and superstitions.  To be honest, I don’t even really believe in any of this stuff!  My mom is pushing me to hold this little pouch thing – a butwa – with me and walk down the aisle with it while my aunt is reminding me to step into the Nikkah area right foot first.  It’s a little overwhelming listening to all this advice and ranting, not to mention their arguing of which superstition is true and which ones are not important. The Nikkah is starting son and I feel the weight of my dupata pulling my down and all this nervousness is just so over-whelming because I can’t even hear myself think amongst all this chattering!  Unfortunately, I had no solution on my wedding day, but now I do.

My advice – get ready for your wedding with as little people in the room as possible.  I love my mom and all, but they were the ones making me nervous and turning knots in my stomach.  Make sure you’re not overwhelmed and have some quiet time with your maid-of-honor, cousin, sister, or best friend.

The South Indian Bride

I am a South Indian Bride.  I have known my fiance for years and I am so excited to marry him.  Right now my beauticians are putting on my heavy sari.  It’s beautiful and I picked it out from the million saris I saw, but at this moment, my sari feels enclosing and limiting.  I wish I could feel more free and less confined in these pleats and gold.  Let’s get this over with – that’s what I thought when I walked out of the hotel room into the hallway, and then I saw my hubby-to-be as uncomfortable as me in his matching turban and the moment just fit!  My heart raced with excitement and now – I was ready to get married!  I gave him a big hug and laughed as I described to him what I had just felt.  But you know what?  I love my sari!  I felt like a bride in it and I wouldn’t change that feeling for anything!

My advice – try on your bridal outfit at least 4 times before your wedding day.  Be comfortable in it and love it because you chose it and this is your moment to look great, even if you feel a little uncomfortable.

The above aritcles and advice are taken from real brides and real senarios from their wedding days.  Be a smart bride – take their advice and learn from their situations.  For more Indian Wedding advice from a real Indian bride currently going through her planning process, visit An Indian Wedding – One Moment at a Time.

7 Responses to “Advice for Indian Brides

  1. steel tube Says:

    My advice – try on your bridal outfit at least 4 times before your wedding day. Be comfortable in it and love it because you chose it and this is your moment to look great, even if you feel a little uncomfortable.

  2. Kat Says:

    I have a very important question for you or any that can help me. A gujarati bride marrying a punjabi groom and the two cultures are different. How do you plan the reception when typically gujarti’s throw it in honor of the groom but punjabi family says that typically it’s there job to handle the reception since the bride gets the wedding part? Feeling very lost and confused. All this dismay makes me want to cancel everything. I’m not one to have conflict I rather avoid it. Please help!!

  3. Amy Patel Says:

    Hi Kat,

    This is not an abnormal situation – you will all have to have open communication, be patient and all be willing to compromise. Here is a wedding where the bride is Sikh & the groom is Gujarati:

    Here are some more links that will give you some ideas – this is not black and white and there is no “right” way to do it. Usually the ceremony will be according to the bride’s family and the reception will have more incorporations from the groom’s family, but compromising is necessary to make everyone happy:

    Good luck!

  4. asvini Says:

    Your web page is without question certainly one of the best. General outcome of the webpage is just amazing.

  5. Indian Wedding Photographer Sydney Says:

    Great blog consolidating a few variations in culture and religion. I would like to say that having a good night’s sleep and night before the wedding and having a check-list (or having a good wedding planner) will also greatly reduce your nervousness.

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