Ah, the rehearsal dinner…this is one of the most differing wedding traditions in America.  Every family has their own style of organizing this pre-wedding festivity.  However, the bride and groom should personalize it and create a friendly, open atmosphere for the guests to chat and enjoy the night.

Planning 101

The restaurant of the rehearsal dinner differs depending on the couple.  Some people like to choose a meaningful restaurant that they had their first date at or got engaged in.  Others like to have this dinner in a fun, family restaurant while some people choose a place that serves their favorite food.  Choose a place where you and your guests can enjoy the night the way you would like to.  Some ideas are in a party room, on a terrace overlooking the beach, or on a quiet patio.

The guest list is completely up to the couple to control.  This can go anywhere from 5 to 50 people depending on how many people are participating in your wedding.  Everyone that will be in the wedding ceremony should be at the rehearsal and then at dinner afterward.  It is acceptable to invite additional members to dinner who aren’t in the ceremony.  The typical guest list includes the bride, groom, parents, grandparents, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, flower girl, and ring bearer.

It is suggested to provide transportation to the rehearsal dinner.  Generally a large stretch limo can take you and your rehearsal dinner guests from the hotel (where your out-of-town guests are staying) to your rehearsal restaurant.  At Planning Elegance, we don’t think that these formalities are necessary if your budget can’t fit them.  Personally, we would rather have you spend the money on your food and clothes then a car-ride, but fancy transportation is the tradition for a rehearsal dinner.  Traditionally, the groom’s parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, so it could be up to the groom on what he would rather spend his money on for this night.

Relax and Enjoy!

This is not like your wedding reception!  There aren’t photographers shooting pictures in your face and guests congratulating you from every angle while you’re adjusting your wedding dress.  Obviously you’re a little on edge from recently practicing your walk down the aisle, but the rehearsal dinner is when the party starts!  This is the pre-wedding bash where you and your fiancee should enjoy yourselves with a close group of people that you love.

The attire is entirely up to you and your beau.  Traditionally, rehearsal dinners are semi-formal attire where all the women are in dresses and skirts while the men are in collared shirts and ties without a formal coat.  However, you should theme it up!  If you bagged a great seafood restaurant on the pier for your rehearsal dinner, have some fun and have your guests wear floral dresses and Hawaiian shirts.  Maybe you got a fun sports bar that brews their own beer for your exciting rehearsal dinner, have guests wear their favorite sports team’s jersey to dinner.

Like we said before, this is not your wedding reception.  Bring the attention slightly away from your wedding and onto how you and your fiancee met and your dating lives.  Share funny stories, the romantic proposal, and maybe a few antics about your friends and family.  This should be a time where everyone is laughing while sipping champagne and the happy couple should not be stressing about the wedding day to come.

Entertainment

This should be a personalized aspect of the night so that the soon-to-be married couple can fully enjoy their night before the wedding.  You can go with the theme of your restaurant for entertainment, have a simple slide show and personal speeches, a scavenger hunt, dancing, word games, or karaoke.  Of course your guests should enjoy the night, but the bottom line is that you and your fiancee should take advantage of this special time.  Try to do something different than the entertainment at your wedding reception to change it up a bit.  Many couples have a sister of the maid of honor in charge of entertainment for this night.

This is the night to serve the groom’s cake.  A groom’s cake is usually a whimsical dessert that describes the groom’s personality.  Since the wedding generally becomes all about the bride, this tradition was intended to bring some of the attention back to the groom.  Many couples have fun with this and can choose from a wide array of desserts like brownies, cheese cake, a fruit and champagne buffet, cup cakes, lemon cake, pies, pound cake, blah, blah, blah.  Some people even have different icons on the cake and each guest has to guess what that particular decoration represents about the groom’s personality.  You can make it fun!

The most important thing about your rehearsal dinner is to bond with your in-laws and have fun!  This is the night that you two let loose and enjoy dinner with the people who matter to you most.  Enjoy your rehearsal!